I think words have the ability to make us or break us. You know the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me"? I don't think that's entirely true. Yes, I think we need to teach our children and ourselves to let things roll off our backs and realize that what other people say about you or how they treat you is a reflection of what is happening in their life, not yours; but it's what we believe in the words that we hear that have the power to hurt and tear us down or build us up.
Mother's Day was a few weeks ago. The week leading up to that was pretty crazy, the house a disaster, the laundry wasn't done, I wasn't getting as much accomplished as I wanted. I had been spending a lot of time at the boys' schools doing end of the year things and was feeling pretty frazzled and not very productive and was eating pretty crappy. The self talk was getting pretty negative. It was making me frustrated and snappy. Then on Mother's Day I received two homemade cards from my boys. Thing One wrote a beautiful letter that made me cry, but it was written in true Hayward fashion with loving sentiment, sarcasm and humor. Thing Two made a craft with a sweet poem that said each flower would have something on it that he would do for me. The flowers were blank except for one that said "I will love you". It too made me cry. He then said that the others were blank because he's not much into chores. I couldn't help but laugh at his humor. Both of them have the ability to use their words to make me laugh and to feel loved, they are just like their dad. I am a very lucky person in that regard.
It was a nice affirmation that words are some of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal. And sometimes we need others to remind us what we should already know. While hearing positive words from others is important, I challenge you to use the words that you say to yourself as a way to build yourself up, not tear yourself down. Just the other day I received a compliment about the work I have done creating my blog and my Facebook page and rather than take the compliment and talk positively about myself and the things that I am working on, I allowed doubt and negative self talk to find its way into my head and right out my mouth.
I saw this quote the other day,
I couldn't agree more. It's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are what you say you are, you will do what you say you will do.
Here's another good one.
.JPG)
I say this and am writing this to challenge and inspire you to be more positive about yourself; but I also and probably more so, write this as a reminder to myself. There are so many other quotes I could add to this blog post, but I will save them for another day. Make the effort to use these words to start being more positive about your skills and abilities, in whatever you do, but also in maybe something new that you've been holding yourself back from starting. Take that leap and try it.
Many of you tell me what an amazing cook I am and that you don't know how I do it. Well first, thank you to all of you that have tried my cooking and enjoy it. There is nothing more satisfying to me, as a cook, than to know my food and time are appreciated. But here's the thing, when I first started cooking, I was awful. I burnt grilled cheese sandwiches, made fried eggs with over cooked edges and runny whites in the middle, the list goes on. But I kept trying and believed that I could do this. And that is my secret, I kept trying. And that's not to say I haven't had some miss fires over the years. Just last year, I tried a new cake recipe for Thing Two's birthday and let me tell you, it was awful. "Kids ate the frosting off the top and trashed the cake" type of awful. A few months ago I had a dinner party and tried a new recipe for the chicken tenders I made for the kids. It used a sweet potato puree as the "wet" for the bread crumbs to stick to on the chicken. They were gross. And to top it off, I forgot to put the timer on and over-cooked them. I don't say that to get sympathy, or to fish for compliments and be given reassurance about my abilities. I say it to be candid about my skill. Yes, I am a good cook. When I am on my game I can create a Cuban-themed dinner for 40+ people complete with homemade Cuban bread, three entrees, sides, soup and dessert and it was fabulous if I do say so myself. But we all have times where we try things and fail. The point is, I think I am a good cook, and I like to challenge myself to get creative and not always follow a recipe to the letter, and I would encourage those of you out there that wish you were a better cook, start believing in yourself. "Fake it 'til you make it" as they say!
I think my style of cooking, like that of probably a lot of home cooks that create rather than follow a recipe, makes it difficult to share recipes because I do a lot of tasting and smelling to make combinations that I think would taste good, then when it's finished, I realize I didn't measure any ingredients and will probably never be able to duplicate what I just made! I am trying do a better job documenting my ingredients as I go so that I can share recipes with you, but understand that it's about your personal taste as well. The recipe that I am sharing I made earlier this month at the Teacher Appreciation Lunch at Thing Two's school. It was inspired by a recipe from a friend of a friend, who is a phenomenal cook that I had the pleasure to share a kitchen with last October. She made this outstanding Black Rice and Sweet Potato Salad and I couldn't remember the exact recipe, so here is my take on it. I used the basic ingredients of black rice, sweet potatoes, pecans, onions and dried cranberries, but then I "Krista-ized" it. I love experimenting in the kitchen, and the more you cook, the more you can pull one technique from one recipe and use it in a new recipe. Which is exactly what I did in this one.
I know for some it can be tough, because you are thinking, "Yeah, but what happens when I experiment and fail and then have nothing to serve?" Start small with your experiments. Find recipes that you like and think how you can expand it. When I was first learning to cook, I loved stir fried dishes. So I found a recipe for a sauce that I liked and then experimented with what I stir fried. Most of the times it was chicken, but sometimes I used shrimp, scallops, beef or pork. Then I played around with the vegetables; onions, peppers, broccoli, celery. Then I experimented with adding cabbage, mushrooms, snap peas, bamboo shoots. Very simple experimentation. Then I decided to stir fry southwest style and changed the seasonings. I read a lot of seasoning jars to learn what the recommended pairings were, and then I would sniff. I opened different seasonings and sniffed one and then another, did I like the pairing? Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. You begin to identify that some are earthy, some are floral, some smell fresher and lighter. Its actually a really great was to get to know your seasonings. I later moved from dried seasonings to fresh, but dried was a great way to start. From there I would think about the taste I was trying to create. Fresh and light? Earthy and comforting? Spicy and flavorful? You get the idea. Most of the time I think that seafood wants a light, fresh seasoning; think dill, mint, parsley. Pork, usually an earthier taste; think cumin, oregano, chili powder like in Pork Posole. But then you can also think about the ethnic flavor you are trying to create. Beef is certainly a heavier, earthier meat, but you can make it lighter and fresher with a Vietnamese marinade with cilantro and mint. Just don't be afraid to experiment! Experimentation is half the fun of cooking! The other half of the fun would be eating it, just in case you were wondering.
So, I think I've gone on long enough. Here is my recipe for Black Rice and Sweet Potato Salad with Pickled Red Onions, Caramelized Pecans and Dried Cranberries in a Red Wine and Blood Orange Vinaigrette. I really need to come up with a shorter name for it! Enjoy it as is, but I encourage you to play around with it. First note, pickling the onions takes a little time. The longer the better. Combine the sliced onions and red wine vinegar and let them soak for a few hours. Save the red wine vinegar for the vinaigrette. If you do not have access to Blood Orange Olive Oil, you can order it through Fiore Artisan Olive Oils. There are probably other stores out there, this is just one that I visited in Bar Harbor, Maine and have had great experience with their oils and vinegars. If you are into essential oils, you could use regular olive oil with probably a drop of Wild Orange essential oil, I will try that next time. If you are using essential oils for consumption, I recommend making sure its an oils that states it can be consumed. I use DoTerra oils and you can buy that through me if you are interested. Click the here for my website for that. Another idea would be to zest an orange. Lastly, and probably the easiest way to get the orange flavor would be to use a little orange juice. I would say maybe a tablespoon. But, as I said before, smelling and tasting are the key to great experimentation. (I'm referring to food here people!) Take a little taste once you've made it. This isn't supposed to be an overwhelming orange flavor. Just enough that when you eat the salad, you have an essence of orange. Think of when you eat something and think, "Hmm, what is that I'm tasting?" Not too overpowering. If you are watching your sugar, just add the pecans as is, without caramelizing them. The sweet of the brown sugar on the pecans adds another dimension of flavor, but could be omitted. One other note. When I added the cranberries and the pecans, I did it by handfuls. I have gone back and measured what is left in the container and tried to determine how much was used. If you add this and think you need a little more, go for it. If as you are adding you think it's too much, don't add as much. That's the great thing about making the recipe yours! Anyway, enjoy!
Black Rice and Sweet Potato Salad with Pickled Red Onions, Caramelized Pecans and Dried Cranberries in a Red Wine and Blood Orange Vinaigrette
2 cups water
3 sweet potatoes, peeled and diced into bite sized pieces
olive oil (for cooking)
1/2 red onion sliced in strips
2/3 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup pecans
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 cup dried cranberries
2 tablespoons finely chopped, fresh chives
1/4 cup chopped, fresh parsley
Slice red onion in strips, place in red wine vinegar and refrigerate for two - three hours. Remove from vinegar, saving vinegar for vinaigrette. Cook black rice in water to package directions. Meanwhile, coat diced sweet potatoes and a large frying pan with olive oil. Saute sweet potatoes until done.
In a small saute pan, over medium low heat, add brown sugar, as it starts to melt, add the pecans and stir continuously to coat. Remove from heat and cool pecans on parchment paper. As pecans cool and are able to be handled, separate any nuts that clumped together in the sugar.
In a large bowl, combine the rice, sweet potatoes, onions, pecans, dried cranberries, chives and parsley. Drizzle with vinaigrette to desired taste.
Vinaigrette
1/2 reserved red wine vinegar from pickled onions
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 cup blood orange olive oil (or see notes in above text)
Salt and pepper to taste
Combine vinegar and honey. Slowly add olive oil, whisking to emulsify. Add salt and pepper to taste. Will yield more than needed for salad, but makes an excellent vinaigrette for other salads or as a marinade for chicken.
