Sometimes I can get a little long winded, this would be one of those times... But it includes a great recipe for Black Rice and Sweet Potato Salad with Pickled Red Onions, Caramelized Pecans and Dried Cranberries in a Red Wine and Blood Orange Vinaigrette. See, I told you I can get long winded!

I love words.  I love to read them, I love to speak them, I love to hear them.  Although, I am better at speaking them, than hearing them, and there are times when I just want quiet; but I collect words the way some people collect shoes.  I have shelves filled with books. The camera roll on my iPhone is filled with saved quotes.  I have collections of quotes on my Pinterest account too.  And it's really no different than when I was younger.  My locker in high school was filled with quotes I loved.  They followed me to college and took their place on my bulletin board in my dorm and then my apartment.  My collection grew and continued to follow me to every job.  I posted them on my bulletin board for anyone to read that came to visit me and even in my desk drawers as little words of encouragement meant just for me.  I currently don't have an official office set up for myself, but all of those quotes are tucked safely in a file folder waiting to resurface.

I think words have the ability to make us or break us.  You know the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me"? I don't think that's entirely true.  Yes, I think we need to teach our children and ourselves to let things roll off our backs and realize that what other people say about you or how they treat you is a reflection of what is happening in their life, not yours; but it's what we believe in the words that we hear that have the power to hurt and tear us down or build us up.

Mother's Day was a few weeks ago.  The week leading up to that was pretty crazy, the house a disaster, the laundry wasn't done, I wasn't getting as much accomplished as I wanted.  I had been spending a lot of time at the boys' schools doing end of the year things and was feeling pretty frazzled and not very productive and was eating pretty crappy.  The self talk was getting pretty negative.  It was making me frustrated and snappy.  Then on Mother's Day I received two homemade cards from my boys.  Thing One wrote a beautiful letter that made me cry, but it was written in true Hayward fashion with loving sentiment, sarcasm and humor.  Thing Two made a craft with a sweet poem that said each flower would have something on it that he would do for me.  The flowers were blank except for one that said "I will love you".  It too made me cry.  He then said that the others were blank because he's not much into chores.  I couldn't help but laugh at his humor.  Both of them have the ability to use their words to make me laugh and to feel loved, they are just like their dad.  I am a very lucky person in that regard.

It was a nice affirmation that words are some of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal.  And sometimes we need others to remind us what we should already know.  While hearing positive words from others is important, I challenge you to use the words that you say to yourself as a way to build yourself up, not tear yourself down.  Just the other day I received a compliment about the work I have done creating my blog and my Facebook page and rather than take the compliment and talk positively about myself and the things that I am working on, I allowed doubt and negative self talk to find its way into my head and right out my mouth.

I saw this quote the other day,

I couldn't agree more.  It's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy.  You are what you say you are, you will do what you say you will do.

Here's another good one.

I say this and am writing this to challenge and inspire you to be more positive about yourself; but I also and probably more so, write this as a reminder to myself.  There are so many other quotes I could add to this blog post, but I will save them for another day.  Make the effort to use these words to start being more positive about your skills and abilities, in whatever you do, but also in maybe something new that you've been holding yourself back from starting. Take that leap and try it.

Many of you tell me what an amazing cook I am and that you don't know how I do it.  Well first, thank you to all of you that have tried my cooking and enjoy it.  There is nothing more satisfying to me, as a cook, than to know my food and time are appreciated.  But here's the thing, when I first started cooking, I was awful.  I burnt grilled cheese sandwiches, made fried eggs with over cooked edges and runny whites in the middle, the list goes on.  But I kept trying and believed that I could do this.  And that is my secret, I kept trying.  And that's not to say I haven't had some miss fires over the years.  Just last year, I tried a new cake recipe for Thing Two's birthday and let me tell you, it was awful.  "Kids ate the frosting off the top and trashed the cake" type of awful.  A few months ago I had a dinner party and tried a new recipe for the chicken tenders I made for the kids.  It used a sweet potato puree as the "wet" for the bread crumbs to stick to on the chicken.  They were gross. And to top it off, I forgot to put the timer on and over-cooked them. I don't say that to get sympathy, or to fish for compliments and be given reassurance about my abilities.  I say it to be candid about my skill.  Yes, I am a good cook.  When I am on my game I can create a Cuban-themed dinner for 40+ people complete with homemade Cuban bread, three entrees, sides, soup and dessert and it was fabulous if I do say so myself.  But we all have times where we try things and fail.  The point is, I think I am a good cook, and I like to challenge myself to get creative and not always follow a recipe to the letter, and I would encourage those of you out there that wish you were a better cook, start believing in yourself.  "Fake it 'til you make it" as they say!

I think my style of cooking, like that of probably a lot of home cooks that create rather than follow a recipe, makes it difficult to share recipes because I do a lot of tasting and smelling to make combinations that I think would taste good, then when it's finished, I realize I didn't measure any ingredients and will probably never be able to duplicate what I just made!  I am trying do a better job documenting my ingredients as I go so that I can share recipes with you, but understand that it's about your personal taste as well.  The recipe that I am sharing I made earlier this month at the Teacher Appreciation Lunch at Thing Two's school.  It was inspired by a recipe from a friend of a friend, who is a phenomenal cook that I had the pleasure to share a kitchen with last October.  She made this outstanding Black Rice and Sweet Potato Salad and I couldn't remember the exact recipe, so here is my take on it.  I used the basic ingredients of black rice, sweet potatoes, pecans, onions and dried cranberries, but then I "Krista-ized" it.  I love experimenting in the kitchen, and the more you cook, the more you can pull one technique from one recipe and use it in a new recipe.  Which is exactly what I did in this one.

I know for some it can be tough, because you are thinking, "Yeah, but what happens when I experiment and fail and then have nothing to serve?"  Start small with your experiments.  Find recipes that you like and think how you can expand it.  When I was first learning to cook, I loved stir fried dishes.  So I found a recipe for a sauce that I liked and then experimented with what I stir fried.  Most of the times it was chicken, but sometimes I used shrimp, scallops, beef or pork. Then I played around with the vegetables; onions, peppers, broccoli, celery.  Then I experimented with adding cabbage, mushrooms, snap peas, bamboo shoots.  Very simple experimentation.  Then I decided to stir fry southwest style and changed the seasonings.  I read a lot of seasoning jars to learn what the recommended pairings were, and then I would sniff.  I opened different seasonings and sniffed one and then another, did I like the pairing? Sometimes yes, and sometimes no.  You begin to identify that some are earthy, some are floral, some smell fresher and lighter.  Its actually a really great was to get to know your seasonings.  I later moved from dried seasonings to fresh, but dried was a great way to start.  From there I would think about the taste I was trying to create.  Fresh and light? Earthy and comforting? Spicy and flavorful? You get the idea.  Most of the time I think that seafood wants a light, fresh seasoning; think dill, mint, parsley.  Pork, usually an earthier taste; think cumin, oregano, chili powder like in Pork Posole.  But then you can also think about the ethnic flavor you are trying to create.  Beef is certainly a heavier, earthier meat, but you can make it lighter and fresher with a Vietnamese marinade with cilantro and mint.  Just don't be afraid to experiment!  Experimentation is half the fun of cooking! The other half of the fun would be eating it, just in case you were wondering.

So, I think I've gone on long enough.  Here is my recipe for Black Rice and Sweet Potato Salad with Pickled Red Onions, Caramelized Pecans and Dried Cranberries in a Red Wine and Blood Orange Vinaigrette.  I really need to come up with a shorter name for it! Enjoy it as is, but I encourage you to play around with it.  First note, pickling the onions takes a little time.  The longer the better.  Combine the sliced onions and red wine vinegar and let them soak for a few hours.  Save the red wine vinegar for the vinaigrette.  If you do not have access to Blood Orange Olive Oil, you can order it through Fiore Artisan Olive Oils.  There are probably other stores out there, this is just one that I visited in Bar Harbor, Maine and have had great experience with their oils and vinegars.  If you are into essential oils, you could use regular olive oil with probably a drop of Wild Orange essential oil, I will try that next time.  If you are using essential oils for consumption, I recommend making sure its an oils that states it can be consumed.  I use DoTerra oils and you can buy that through me if you are interested.  Click the here for my website for that.  Another idea would be to zest an orange.  Lastly, and probably the easiest way to get the orange flavor would be to use a little orange juice.  I would say maybe a tablespoon.  But, as I said before, smelling and tasting are the key to great experimentation.  (I'm referring to food here people!)  Take a little taste once you've made it.  This isn't supposed to be an overwhelming orange flavor.  Just enough that when you eat the salad, you have an essence of orange.  Think of when you eat something and think, "Hmm, what is that I'm tasting?" Not too overpowering.  If you are watching your sugar, just add the pecans as is, without caramelizing them. The sweet of the brown sugar on the pecans adds another dimension of flavor, but could be omitted.  One other note.  When I added the cranberries and the pecans, I did it by handfuls.  I have gone back and measured what is left in the container and tried to determine how much was used.  If you add this and think you need a little more, go for it.  If as you are adding you think it's too much, don't add as much.  That's the great thing about making the recipe yours!  Anyway, enjoy!

Black Rice and Sweet Potato Salad with Pickled Red Onions, Caramelized Pecans and Dried Cranberries in a Red Wine and Blood Orange Vinaigrette

1 cup black rice
2 cups water
3 sweet potatoes, peeled and diced into bite sized pieces
olive oil (for cooking)
1/2 red onion sliced in strips
2/3 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup pecans
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/2 cup dried cranberries
2 tablespoons finely chopped, fresh chives
1/4 cup chopped, fresh parsley

Slice red onion in strips, place in red wine vinegar and refrigerate for two - three hours. Remove from vinegar, saving vinegar for vinaigrette.  Cook black rice in water to package directions.  Meanwhile, coat diced sweet potatoes and a large frying pan with olive oil.  Saute sweet potatoes until done.

In a small saute pan, over medium low heat, add brown sugar, as it starts to melt, add the pecans and stir continuously to coat.  Remove from heat and cool pecans on parchment paper.  As pecans cool and are able to be handled, separate any nuts that clumped together in the sugar.

In a large bowl, combine the rice, sweet potatoes, onions, pecans, dried cranberries, chives and parsley.  Drizzle with vinaigrette to desired taste.

Vinaigrette
1/2 reserved red wine vinegar from pickled onions
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 cup blood orange olive oil (or see notes in above text)
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine vinegar and honey.  Slowly add olive oil, whisking to emulsify.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Will yield more than needed for salad, but makes an excellent vinaigrette for other salads or as a marinade for chicken.

I am having a love affair with Iceberg Lettuce

Yes, I admit it.  I have found myself in a torrid love affair with that pale green lettuce leaf thought by many foodies as crunchy water that doesn't even deserve to grace a salad plate.  Ok, maybe torrid is a little dramatic, but I have to tell you, I was one of those iceberg snobs for a while, but no longer.  

I have always associated iceberg lettuce as a "starter" green.  It was the first lettuce I ate as a child.  First, on sandwiches and cheeseburgers, then I made the brave, bold move into the salad.  As a kid, salads were for grown ups.  So in middle and high school, when you had the option of the regular cafeteria food or the salad bar, I ate salad!  Iceberg lettuce, shredded carrots, cucumbers and maybe some tomatoes, drowning in Thousand Island Dressing with croutons like little lifeboats floating in my salad.  I thought I was pretty big stuff.  

Then I was introduced to the Caesar Salad and Romaine lettuce.  This was another salad that I got to drown in a creamy dressing and cover in croutons, but Romaine, now that was fancier than Iceberg! Iceberg was for chumps!

On I went from Romaine to Spinach, Arugula, Mesclun, Dandelion Greens, the list goes on and on. Other than Romaine, these are the greens my husband likes to call, weeds from the backyard.  But I love them.  Some are spicy, or bitter, others are sweet or tangy.  As I began to experiment with these new greens, my dressings changed as well, from creamy and thick to light vinaigrettes.  And then I found out you could put fruit on a salad! And nuts! And all sorts of wonderful things! Never again would I eat that bastard child of the greens family, iceberg.  Not when there were all these other wonderful greens around! 

So a few weeks ago, I made Green Goddess Dip for the raw vege tray for a party I was having.  It has become my new favorite dip.  Then I bought a new cookbook, because next to my current torrid love affair with iceberg lettuce, I have an addiction problem in the form of collecting recipes.  Be it through Pinterest, cookbooks, or cooking magazines, I have hundreds of thousands of recipes.  If I stopped collecting recipes now and only made recipes from all the cookbooks and recipes I have pinned to Pinterest, I would not be able to make all of the recipes in my lifetime.  It's really rather ridiculous, but I digress.  This cookbook, Earth to Table, Seasonal Recipes from an Organic Farm, by Jeff Crump and Bettina Schormann, is wonderful.  I absolutely love the idea of seasonal, local cooking.  That's not to say that I don't make things out of season that aren't local, but I try.  One recipe that caught my eye immediately was Iceberg Wedge with Green Goddess Dressing.  Oooo! Green Goddess Dressing? Yes! Bacon? Yes! Cherry tomatoes? Yes! Blue Cheese? Yes! Pickled Onions? Yes! Iceberg lettuce? Really? 

I gave it some thought and decided, I would give it a whirl.  Maybe I could get the boys to eat it.  I mean, it is a "starter" green!  Well, my children refused to eat it.  It's a leaf, mom! But they did eat the tomatoes and the bacon, baby steps.  Right? But let me tell you, I LOOOOOOVED it.  Super crunchy and sweet.  I forgot how refreshing iceberg lettuce can be.  And let me tell you, this sturdy little head of pale green leaves has a longer shelf life than its dark green, delicate counter parts.  I can't tell you how many times I have purchased a bag of Mesclun (Spring Greens) and they have gone bad if not eaten that day! And that is particularly frustrating if you don't want to have to go to the grocery store several times a week! 

Since making this salad, I have made it and differing varieties of a wedge salad or ordered wedge salads when we go out to dinner at least 6 times in the past two weeks.  I can't get enough of it! Sometimes I use the Green Goddess Dressing, sometimes a Balsamic Vinaigrette, but always with a big ol' wedge of iceberg lettuce! That doesn't mean that I don't still love a spring green mix with grilled chicken breast and sliced strawberries with roasted pecans and red wine Vinaigrette dressing, but I will no longer turn up my nose to the humble iceberg.  

If it's been a while since you ate this lovely green, or if you are not a vegetable person, I encourage you to have your own adventure with Iceberg lettuce.  While I am not reprinting the original recipe from the cookbook that I spoke about earlier, I am posting my modified version of Green Goddess Dressing.  Most of these recipes are very similar, and mine is slightly different from the one on the book so I feel like I can call it mine.  I will also give you some ideas for really easy wedge salads with which you can experiment.  But, I also encourage you to check out this book.  If you live locally, I purchased it at the Carriage House Market in Hanover.  Speaking of local, seasonal food, this is a great place for just that thing!  If you aren't local, check out your local bookstore or follow the link that I provided above to Amazon.  

As I write this blog, it has dawned on me that I haven't taken any pictures of any of the wedge salads I have made over the past two weeks! (Slapping my forehead right now!) But I do have a pic of my lovely Green Goddess Dressing for you to see. 

Wedge Salad with Bacon, Blue Cheese and Balsamic Vinaigrette, serves 4 

1 head of iceberg lettuce, cut into 8 wedges

1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced

8 grape tomatoes, quartered

1 pack of bacon, cooked and drained and chopped (I use Applegate Natural Reduced Sodium Sunday Bacon.  It is gluten free, and has no added nitrites or chemical preservatives.)

1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese

Balsamic Vinaigrette (recipe below)

Divide the wedges of lettuce among 4 plates, sprinkle with remaining ingredients and salad dressing.  Enjoy! 

Wedge Salad with Shrimp, Feta and Green Goddess Dressing, serves 4

1 head of iceberg lettuce, cut into 8 wedges

1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced

2 dozen shrimp, peeled and cooked (can be served warm or chilled)

1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

Green Goddess Dressing (recipe below)

Divide the wedges of lettuce among 4 plates, sprinkle with remaining ingredients and salad dressing.  Enjoy! 

Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing, makes about 3/4 - 1 cup

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon spicy brown mustard (I use Organicville Brand, Organic Stone Ground Mustard, gluten free)

1 clove of garlic

1/2 cup olive oil

2 tablespoons chives, chopped

In a mini food processor, blend all ingredients until emulsified.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Green Goddess Dressing, makes about 2 cups

1 cup Mayonnaise (click here for a simple recipe to make your own or use store bought.)

1/2 teaspoon anchovy paste (I am not a fan of anchovies, but I assure you, it really makes the recipe! I use Giovanni's Anchovy Paste.  If it is not available in your local grocery store, check out specialty food stores like Williams Sonoma or Sur La Table, or click the link to order through Amazon.)

1 scallion, chopped

1 garlic clove

3 tablespoons fresh, flat leaf parsley, chopped

2 tablespoons fresh chives, chopped 

1 teaspoon fresh tarragon, chopped

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar (most recipes call for tarragon infused vinegar, but I just use regular white wine vinegar)

In a mini food processor, blend all ingredients until emulsified, about 1 minute.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Lessons Learned from the Cleanse...

I did not make it the entire 90 days on the Candida Cleanse.  As I anticipated in my February blog, the upcoming trips made it difficult to stick to the plan.  That being said, it would have been difficult, but not impossible.  Had I truly felt it imperative to stick to it, I know I could have.  But I managed to accomplish what I needed to.  I lost 15 pounds (and still going), I have a ton of energy, I am having less digestive issues than I did before, the cold sore outbreaks that I spoke of in my January blog are now virtually non-existent, and I even feel like my creative juices are flowing better than they have in a long time.  I am feeling very healthy and very happy.  

Additionally, I see what I am doing as a realistic way to eat.  This is big.  I don't feel like a failure for having not made it 90 days because the things I have begun to identify about my thoughts and feelings about myself has changed.  The biggest thing that I recognized is self sabotage.  When I normally diet and restrict certain things, the first thing I focus on and crave is that which I have restricted and labeled as bad.  Before, I would "cheat" and I thought of it as a cheat against the diet, not against me.  If you have never dieted, this may be hard to understand.  By changing my diet because of my immediate health concerns, it became more about me and not so much that one food is bad.  Just that my body's reaction to the food is not healthy.  I also stopped focusing on some arbitrary number on a scale.  I am happy for the weight loss, but the fact that if I eat that, I will physically feel bad has been the switch that I needed to flip to be successful.

I think this is a benefit of an elimination diet.  Knowing that I was only eliminating certain foods for a small period of time made it easier to stick to the plan.  And our bodies are amazing machines.  Without getting into all the science that I have read about elimination diets, the basic premise is that within three weeks, the body begins to heal when foods that you may be sensitive to are eliminated.  As soon as those things are reintroduced, your body lets you know right away whether or not it can handle it.  And that is just what I have found out.  If I eat gluten, my stomach hurts.  If I now have too much sugar, my stomach hurts and I get gassy.  These are immediate responses and help me to realize that it's not cheating on a diet, it's avoiding something that my body is sensitive to, similar to someone with a food allergy.  Luckily for me, it's not as serious as a full food allergy, but thinking of it this way helps.  

Secondly, the thought process, at least for me, about cheating on a diet is that I am getting away with something.  But guess what?  I'm not.  And I am only hurting myself by eating foods that are detrimental to me.  And guess what else? I am important enough to not do that to myself.  That is the other really important thing that I have learned by participating in this cleanse and from participating in this journey with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.  I am important enough to make myself my first priority.  Again, for some of you this may be a no-brainer, but for others of you, you know exactly what I am talking about.  It's like when you are traveling on a plane and they go through the safety checklist prior to take off and they tell you that in the event of a loss of cabin pressure, masks will drop from the ceiling.  They ALWAYS instruct you to put yours on first and then help those around you that may need help.  They don't tell you to run around the plane depriving yourself of oxygen while putting the mask on others.  In part, I feel like that is what I have been doing.  Over my lifetime I have lost weight to look good in a prom dress, to look good in a bathing suit, to look good in a wedding dress, to be healthy for the baby while I was pregnant (which is important, but many women can make their health a priority for the baby, but not for themselves. Why is that?), or to look good for whatever the next major life event was about to happen that was going to involve a photographer so that I didn't look bad in pictures.  But what about eating healthy and losing weight because I am worth being healthy and feeling good just for me?  I am worth taking the time to realize that putting crap into my body does nothing but expel crap right back out.  And don't get me wrong, I don't mean to sound like a martyr.  It's not like I am looking for pity because I didn't make myself a priority.  If anything, I think I need a good swift kick in the backside! And I am just stating a fact that is true for many people.  Making eating right and exercising a priority is nothing to feel guilty about.

Lastly, what I learned from this cleanse is the 80/20 rule.  I make it a priority to avoid refined carbohydrates, added sugar, alcohol, and processed foods during the week.  On the weekend, I still try to avoid them, but allow myself the flexibility that things happen and if I am going out or want to have one of these items, I can.  If I try to remove them completely from my diet, I am setting myself up for failure.  I will eventually binge on it and sabotage all my efforts.  And I am worth the occasional treat.  As long as I keep "occasional", occasional! If I'm not honest with myself about the 20%, it won't work.

That's not to say that I have it all figured out and that I am now the model of good nutrition.  I still need to work things out.  But, I read labels and plan my snacks.  I make sure I have nuts to snack on and water to drink.  I plan out my daily meals as part of my schedule so that I am prepared.  Because getting hungry and not having the right foods conveniently available can set me off track very quickly.  But, I also know that I could eat a big ol' bowl of spaghetti in a heart beat and damn the consequences.  I know that although pasta is a food that gives me digestive issues, I love it.  I have moved to gluten free pasta to take care of the digestive issues, but I also know that I just feel better in general when I eat less refined carbohydrates and more lean protein, vegetables and healthy fats like avocados and green smoothies made with coconut milk, leafy greens and just a little added fruit.  I also know now that if I absolutely need a grain, whole grains like quinoa, wild rice, and millet are satisfying.  Here's the problem, spaghetti is my comfort food.  But here's the solution, knowing this, I have to work to keep it in the 20% part of the 80/20 equation.  If I try to remove it completely, I will set myself up for a round of self sabotage.  

I am continuing to try new things and come up with new recipes that have less refined carbohydrates.  And my kids and husband, bless them, that sometimes just want something easy and normal, have been fantastic about this whole thing.  Yes, I know that the zoodles (zucchini cut into noodle like strips with a spiralizer), are not really noodles, that you like the taste of white rice more than all of these crazy grains I have introduced you to, and that I haven't fooled you even with the brown rice! I know that you are not a fan of almond butter and have made great strides just changing to a better type of peanut butter, and that sometimes, you just want a Tasty Kake.  And that, for the kids at least, Pastelon, kind of a Puerto Rican lasagna, is a little over the top for you to try just yet.  I also know that some day you will look back on this, of course, who am I kidding, you already see it as your crazy mom taking you on another Hayward adventure! 

There is one area where we have found common ground and that is with smoothies.  I haven't convinced my kids to try a green smoothie yet, they just can't get past the color and flecks of green! We are making some great smoothies using plain yogurt, fruit and almond milk.  As well as smoothies with coconut milk, my favorite! So I am posting two smoothie recipes, my kids' favorite, Strawberry-Banana. (I mean, what kid wouldn't like that!?) And one of my favorites, Mom's Superfood Chocolate Smoothie.  Some of the ingredients in my recipe are a little uncommon and may not be found at a regular grocery store, but could be found online, or if you are local, go to Sonnewald's in Spring Grove.  I hope you enjoy them!

Strawberry Banana Smoothie
Serves 2
1 cup strawberries, cleaned and hulled
1 banana
3/4 cup Greek style, plain yogurt
1/4 cup unsweetened, vanilla Almond milk
1/2 cup ice
1 Tablespoon honey, maple syrup or agave nectar

Put all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Enjoy! 

Mom's Superfood Chocolate Smoothie
Serves 2
1 banana

3/4 c coconut milk, unsweetened, full fat

1/2 c almond milk, unsweetened, vanilla

1 T goji berries

2 T cacao powder

1 cup kale leaves

1/2 cup ice

Put all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Enjoy! 

Day 42...

I am now 42 days without sugar, gluten, corn, soy, dairy or alcohol.  Well, full disclosure, I have gone without these things, mostly! I will admit that I have had a few times when I've gone out for dinner that I have ordered things that probably had sugar or dairy in the sauce, but I have made a conscious effort when dining out to try to order things without sauce, and the times I have eaten them, its been pretty small.  I don't eat bread, I haven't ordered pasta, or dessert, and have done a pretty good job of sticking to the detox.  My goal, 90 days.  That being said, I have a lot of events planned over the next few weeks and am trying to be realistic about this.  I am going with the 80/20 rule on the weekends for the next month.  My plan is to follow the detox/cleanse to the letter during the week and then do the best I can on the weekends.  So, while I will still be staying away from the obvious things like breaded foods, pasta dishes and desserts, because those are the things that I could so easily incorporate back into my diet in the blink of an eye, I am already planning to allow myself a small amount of alcohol at the next few upcoming events, because that was something that was already an occasional thing for me anyway and will be easy to do in moderation.  But even that, I am trying to be smart about.  I'll have white wine, maybe with seltzer, or small glass of red, but no overly fruity cocktails, no creamy coladas or other frozen drinks made with ice cream and milk.  You get the point.

My plan with this detox/cleanse was twofold, eliminate sugar and other foods that may be contributing to a sugar addiction and causing problems with leaky gut and candida.  Second, determine what foods my body can tolerate and what foods should stay out of my diet.  My goal was NOT to deprive myself from now until eternity of treats, but more to learn to make treats truly treats that you have occasionally and to learn how to cook meals without hidden sugar and use less refined carbohydrates.

There are also a few reasons I decided on 90 days.  The first and most obvious was that I was intrigued by a Facebook page that a friend of mine started the exact same time I started the sugar detox, it was a 90 day candida cleanse.  Because the cleanse and the sugar detox were so closely aligned, I decided that step one, 21 day sugar detox, step two, continue on the additional time to complete the 90 day candida cleanse.  If you are interested in learning more about it, the page is called Crushing Candida on Facebook and Sharla has done an amazing job of putting together resources, a questionnaire to determine if the cleanse is right for you, a webinar explaining the process and documents to help you decide what to eat and what to avoid while on the cleanse.  My second reason for trying to stick to this for 90 days was because I know my brain, and while many behavior modification books say it takes three weeks to change a habit, I find it can take about two days to slide right back into that habit.  Think about it, if you have been eating a certain way your entire life, 3 weeks is a drop in the bucket.  Because of this, I knew it would take a longer amount of time for me to truly develop habits that become so ingrained in my brain, that I know they will stick and be my new nutritional habits.

I have to conscientiously decide every morning to not have the things I have always eaten, simple carbohydrates are so easy and have always been my "go to." I no longer have toast with jelly, or a bowl of cereal, or leftover spaghetti (yeah, and not just once, but many times. I have eaten spaghetti for breakfast since I was a kid. Remember, spaghetti sandwiches with buttered bread have been my ultimate comfort food!).  Now, I have chia seed pudding made with unsweetened almond milk and topped with berries, or a bowl of sauteed vegetables with an egg, or half a green apple with unsweetened almond butter, and sometimes a smoothie; but made with less fruit and more vegetables with some healthy fats like coconut milk or avocado blended in.  My smoothies are also smaller than they were in the past.  When they aren't filled with tons of wonderful sweet fruit and vanilla yogurt that has now been blended into a creamy delicious "one step away from a milkshake" morning beverage, I no longer suck them down in 30 seconds.  They last longer because they aren't so sweet and the fat from the coconut milk satiates me much faster and stays with me much longer. When I am in a pinch, I have hard-boiled eggs already made and in the refrigerator that I can grab for some on the go protein or half an avocado with a squeeze of lime juice and a little cracked pepper. The shell of the avocado makes a perfect bowl for on the go! If I have time to dice and put the avocado in a bowl, then I will add chopped cilantro with the lime juice and pepper.

In addition to learning to make new breakfast items for myself, I am trying to modify the way I have always cooked dinner.  Pasta was always a staple in our house for dinner, and quite honestly, probably always will be, but I have found ways to make this work.  When making spaghetti for the kids, I make a batch of zucchini noodles (or Zoodles) for myself.  I recently bought this spiralizer from Williams Sonoma.  I don't get any kick back for telling you this, I just like to share when I find a gadget that I really love.  I actually used it to make radish noodles too. It's pretty darn incredible! I do eat brown rice on occasion, but more often I make riced cauliflower when the kids have rice.  Here is a great recipe for cilantro lime "riced" cauliflower from Skinnytaste.com.  I also have found others and have pinned them to my Pinterest board, For the Love of Food - Sides, if you are interested in finding other recipes.  Be warned, if you start looking at my Pinterest boards, I have A LOT of recipes that I pinned prior to going on the cleanse, don't assume that all my recipes in my boards are "cleanse friendly." A future project is to organize them to make it easier to find those recipes, but for right now they are stuck in with the rest.

While I have been on this journey, I have talked to a few people about teaching others how to make meals that don't have hidden sugars, are free of some of the major food sensitivity ingredients - soy, corn, gluten, and dairy, and are easy recipes to make.  Well, so far, I have been successful in two of the three areas.  I feel as if I now have a small, but solid foundation of these types of recipes, my only hurdle, turning them into easy recipes that don't take a ton of time in the kitchen.  I am working on creating a collection of easy recipes though, and intend to share them through my blog and through cooking classes.  As I create them, I am trying to time myself to find out if they fit the bill of a meal that can be made in 30-60 minutes.  The first recipe that I have tried this with where I actually remembered to write down and measure the ingredients and found that it took 60 minutes because I remembered to time myself is Chicken and Cauliflower with Salsa, served over Cilantro Lime Brown Rice.  I did not make this with the riced cauliflower because I was making it to take to Thing 1's swimming banquet and was afraid riced cauliflower may be a little over the top for that venue! But, would probably make a batch of that for the next time I make it at home.  The recipe follows, but unfortunately there is no picture! In the mad dash to get out the door, I forgot to take a picture to have on the blog!  So instead, I put a picture of some lovely roasted cauliflower until I can edit it! I have some additional links below for products and stores that I use.  Again, I don't get compensated to mention them, I just like supporting local businesses and sharing great finds.

Also, if you are interested in some one on one cooking help or attending a cooking class, let me know.  While I am still in the planning stages of developing my health coaching practice, as I fine tune what services I will be offering, and when classes are scheduled, I will be sure to let you know.  Being in the kitchen with me, will certainly be another Hayward Adventure!

Chicken and Cauliflower with Salsa, 
Served over Cilantro Lime Brown Rice
Cilantro Lime Rice
1 cup brown rice, prepared using package instructions.
(Make sure to start this first as brown rice takes easily 40 minutes to prepare.)
Zest from 1 lime
Juice from half a lime 
(Just zest the lime, cut it in half and leave unjuiced for now, you will use the other half of the lime below)
1/4 cup chopped cilantro

While rice is cooking, continue with recipe below, when rice is done, stir the lime zest and cilantro into the cooked rice.  Take half a lime and squeeze the juice over the rice, stir to incorporate.

Chicken and Cauliflower with Salsa
olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste
1 head of cauliflower, chopped into florets
3 cloves of whole, unpeeled garlic
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 small zucchini, chopped
1 lb leftover chicken, shredded
1 can diced tomatoes
1 c water
1/2 - 1 teaspoon Chipotle chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 Tablespoon tomato paste
1/4 c salsa (look for one with no added sugar, I used Epic Pickles brand salsa.  If you are local you can get it from Carriage House Market)
1/3 c chopped cilantro
Juice from half a lime

Condiments
Chopped black olives
Julienned radishes
Diced avocado
Chopped green onion
Chopped cilantro
Sour cream
Cheese (I used queso cotija which is a grated cheese, but queso fresco would be nice too.  If you are local, El Agave in Hanover carries this.)
Note, if going dairy free, obviously the sour cream and cheese are not good garnish choices.

Preheat oven to 425*. Coat a rimmed baking pan with olive oil, toss the cauliflower in the oil, place the 3 cloves of unpeeled garlic on the pan, sprinkle with a little salt and pepper, roast for 20 minutes.  While cauliflower is roasting, chop vegetables and saute in olive oil over medium heat until crisp tender in a large pan.  I use the chop and drop method here, which means I put oil in the pan and turn the heat on, as the oil heats, I chop the celery, add it to the pan and give it a stir. Chop the onion, add it to the pan and give it a stir.  I make my way down the list of the vegetables until they are all incorporated.  Add the chicken.  (Note, I used leftover chicken from a roast I made the previous day that was already shredded.  If using raw chicken, I would chop it and saute it first, then proceed with the vegetables. This will take longer to do this way.) By this point the cauliflower should be done and can be added to the pan.  Set aside the roasted garlic for a moment.  Stir in the tomatoes and water.  Push the chicken and vegetables in a ring around the outside of the pan, the tomato juice and water will pool in the middle of the pan.  Peel and chop the roasted garlic and add the garlic, seasonings, tomato paste, and salsa and whisk into the liquid to incorporate completely, then stir all the ingredients in the pan together to coat.  (Note, I used 1/2 teaspoon of Chipotle chili powder because the salsa has some kick to it and because I was taking it to a banquet and didn't want it to be too hot.  I would lean more towards the 1 teaspoon if making this at home.  But it really depends on your personal taste and the heat level of your salsa.) Lastly, add in the cilantro and squeeze the juice of half a lime over the top and stir.

Serve over rice and garnish with suggested condiments.

Sugar! Oh Honey, Honey!

If someone asked you to eat your weight in sugar, would you?  Amazingly enough, that is just about what the average American does every year!  The US Department of Agriculture reported in 2011 that the average American consumed about 154 pounds of sugar per person per year!  Compare that with research conducted by Stephan Guyenet, from the University of Washington; who found that in 1822, the average American consumed 6.3 pounds of sugar per person per year.  That means that in 2011 we consumed, in 2 weeks, the same amount of sugar that our ancestors consumed in an entire year!  And this was added sugar, not sugar consumed by fruits and vegetables.  

Why is this a problem?  New studies show that it may be the sugar in our diet, more so than the fat in our diet, that is causing health problems like obesity and heart disease.  There was a 60 Minutes segment that discusses this in a little more detail.  You can watch the YouTube video by clicking on this link.  You will note that this video segment states that the average American consumes 130 pounds of added sweeteners a year, compared to the 154 pounds that I mentioned above.  Since I don't know their source, I went with mine, as I think the USDA is a pretty credible source for this information.  Regardless, 130 pounds or 154 pounds, that's a lot of sugar!

Does this mean you should go out and try to remove all sugar out of your diet? That's up to you.  But could most of us benefit from a reduction in calories from sugar and other sweeteners?  Absolutely!  If you are wondering how to start, just start with baby steps. First thing I tried was to remove high fructose corn syrup from the house. After that, I eliminated soda, ALL soda. Read here about artificial sweeteners. After these two successes, Christmas hit and I went crazy on the holiday treats that included fudge, cranberry and white chocolate chip blondie bars with white chocolate frosting, toffee and chocolate chip snicker doodles, rum balls, and egg nog.  

Have I made you hungry yet? My point is, even with my few successes, I could see that I was hugely addicted to sugar. I mean, my favorite comfort food is leftover spaghetti made into a sandwich with buttered bread. Yeah, I like a little carb with my carbs.  

Aside from knowing that I have a sugar addiction and that I would like to lose some weight, I have a problem with the Herpes Simplex 1 Virus, aka cold sores.  They can be very painful and also very ugly.  I have had some major problems with this virus in the past and currently take a supplement of L-Lysine to help keep them under control.  Over the holidays, I got a really bad one inside my nose.  It was very painful and took a long time to heal.  I had read some things that suggested a link between sugar and the growth of viruses and while I couldn't find any conclusive studies to directly link the two, there are also suggestions between the virus and chronic inflammation.  It was enough for me to decide to get off the sugar and see if it helped.

I found a book called the 21 Day Sugar Detox, by Diane Sanfilippo and decided to take the challenge. The basic premise of the detox is to use real, whole foods to reduce or eliminate your cravings for sugars and carbohydrates.  It does have restrictions like no fruit except for lemon and lime juice and 1 green apple, grapefruit or green tipped banana per day.  This is just for the 21 days and you can incorporate fruit back into your diet when the 21 days is over.  Hopefully, fruit will be sweet enough that this will be your source of sugar from here on out.  There is a whole lot more to the detox, and if you are truly interested I do recommend her book.

As I type this blog, I am on day 19 of the detox.  It has had its moments of struggle, but I was actually surprised at how introducing more healthy fats into my diet has really helped with the sugar cravings. My biggest obstacle was this weekend.  A dear friend of mine was turning 40 and to celebrate she invited a bunch of us to a house she rented outside of Atlantic City.  I actually contemplated not going, but decided that I was not going to miss the opportunity to see my friend and celebrate with her. I had to determine if this could truly be a lifestyle change or not.  

On Saturday night we headed into Atlantic City for dinner and a night out.  We ate at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant and let me tell you, there were all kinds of things on the menu I wanted to eat, but I found a dish that was within the parameters of the sugar detox and it was fantastic! I had mineral water instead of wine and was really feeling great.  Then came dessert.  I said no thank you, but there was a chocolate soufflé with pistachio ice cream to my left and a pineapple upside down cake with toffee sauce and vanilla ice cream to my right.  My friends were very supportive in what I was doing, but had every right to indulge and I did not begrudge them that.  But there was an impulse to just try a bite.  What could one bite hurt? But I resisted.  I reminded myself of my intentions for doing this detox and stayed strong.  

Including today, I have three more days to go and can't believe I did it! The best part is that it is working.  I am feeling better, I lost 10 pounds without even trying, and I am sleeping better.  Yes, I would like to have eaten that dessert, but I was able to resist.  Now don't get me wrong, there will be times in the future when I go out for something special that I may have dessert, or I may order pasta, and I will still have my occasional glass of wine, but I also know that these foods are now truly "every once in a while foods" for me.  This has truly been Another Hayward Adventure!

Cooking Cuban

Over the past month, I have really struggled with this blog post. I wanted to start documenting some new recipes that I have been trying, but kept getting stuck on how to begin.  I guess part of my struggle is because I like to tell stories.  As I shared in the last blog post, I come from a family of story tellers.  Nothing is ever a simple one sentence answer for me.  I try to remember at times it's important to be brief and concise, but when it comes down to it, I am just naturally a long winded story teller.  As I tried to think of how to start the next blog, I kept getting caught up in having a story to retell to get things started.  As I have experimented with different recipes, I want to document them, and will; but I just could think of an entertaining way to tell you about my experience cooking amaranth.  So today, I made a Black Bean and Sweet Potato Bowl.  It was based on a black bean recipe I learned to make when I cooked a Cuban dinner for about 40 people this past February.  And just like that, I had another Hayward Adventure that I wanted to share.

In January of this year, my husband and I were part of two teams of 12 people each that ran the Key West Ragnar; which is a 200 mile relay race from Miami to Key West.  If you are unfamiliar with the concept of a Ragnar, it's a long distance race over a two day period, there is a team of 12 runners split between two vans.  The first runner starts the race, their van meets them at the end of their first leg, and runner two takes off on their first leg.  Each leg can be anywhere from just over two miles to just under 12 miles.  The first van does this for all six runners in their van, van two meets up at the switch point for runner six and seven and then van two takes off doing the same thing.  After all twelve runners have run one leg, it starts all over again with van one.  Every runner on the team does a total of three legs and will run a total of about 12 - 20 miles.  There is a little time for sleeping when your van is off, but for the most part; you get up Friday morning and start the race and end on Saturday afternoon.  It's exhausting, exhilarating and awesome.

Now, let's get one thing straight, I am not a fast runner, nor would I consider myself a long distance runner.  Up until we decided to do this, I ran one 5K race.  And after we had signed up, I managed one additional race that was a 5 miler.  Because I was not much of a runner up to this point, and was putting on a lot of miles as a beginner to train for this race, it was right after the 5 miler that I went to see the orthopedic doctor about what I thought was an ankle injury, only to find out that it was a stress fracture and I had to stop running for 6 weeks!  Thankfully, by swimming and aqua jogging, I was able to keep working out, get back to running that November and participate in one of the coolest experiences that January.  Also, thankfully, I was the runner with the least amount of miles!

We had some great runners on our team and luckily I didn't slow things down too much.  Our team finished 33rd out of 250 teams and our friends on the other team finished 27th! If you have the opportunity to participate in a relay race like this, do it. It does not matter how fast you are, it is an amazing experience that is like nothing you have ever done before.  You will be so glad you tried it. It will definitely be an adventure worth having!

We then spent the next few days in Key West eating great food and having some much needed grown up time.  We ate at some really great restaurants.  Old Town Mexican Cafe, had some great Mexican food and one restaurant that was just incredible was this little Cuban Sandwich shop right across from our hotel the Southernmost, called Ana's Cuban Cafe.  If you are ever in Key West, you have to go there.  They make a Cuban Roast Pork Sandwich and Ropa Vieja Sandwich that are outstanding.  On a side note, we went back to Key West during Easter break with the kids and ate at Blue Heaven, not once but twice; breakfast and dinner and it was outstanding, so it would be another must for a trip to Key West! Anyway, so when it was all said and done, we had a great time, missed are kids, were ready to come home, but also ready to do it again next year.

About a month after we were home, we had a Ragnar reunion party.  Since I love to cook, I offered to make all the food; the theme - Cuban food! And let me tell you, while I love to cook and have dinner parties, this was unlike anything I had ever attempted before and would certainly qualify as a Hayward adventure!  In addition to making Cuban food, I did recreate some other food from Key West that we had enjoyed while there, but the Cuban Sandwich was the cornerstone of the menu.  I found a website, 3 Guys from Miami, that had some outstanding recipes for Cuban food.  I highly recommend their website and their cookbooks.  Some of the things I made from their website that I recommend include the Lechon Asado, Pan Cubano (the only bread that should ever be used to make a Cuban Sandwich!), and Frijoles Negros.  I also made yellow rice, fried plantains, Ropa Vieja (shredded beef), Costa Maya Coconut Bread (with the changes that I posted on the website), Puerto Rican style stewed chicken (which is actually a Pinterest recipe that is really good and fit with our theme), Caribbean Sweet Potato Soup with Ginger Shrimp, and flan.  I was so happy with how well it all turned out.  And cooking a dinner party for that many people was pretty crazy.  I checked in with my friend who runs a restaurant on quantities of food per person, I made rolls on two different occasions to test the recipe, I made the Pan Cubano three times to make sure I had it down and still had a little problem with the dough the day of the dinner, but luckily, everything turned out great and my servings were almost spot on.

Since that dinner I have made black beans quite a few times, but today for lunch, I was inspired to make my own variation of the beans.  Since I started at IIN, I have taken the advice of Andrea Beaman and make large batches of brown rice and beans to have on hand for recipes throughout the week.  To make big batches of beans, just soak them overnight and then cook them in water the next day per the instructions on the bag.  I did it the other day and had a pretty large amount of beans left over making beans for a pot of black bean soup.  I had also made sweet potatoes the other night that I had cut like fries and baked in the oven with just salt, pepper and olive oil for about 25 minutes at 425 F, until cooked through. I then toss some of them with steamed green beans, sautéed red onion and mix with a homemade maple Dijon vinaigrette. I served initially with roasted chicken, the next day over greens with chopped pecans and goat cheese and now was going to use the rest of the left overs today. And yes, the sweet potato, green bean and red onion salad will be another recipe post. 

So, with black beans and sweet potatoes on hand, and the frijoles negros recipe as my base, I was inspired to make my own version of Cuban Black Beans and Sweet Potatoes for one (and a half, it was a pretty substantial serving!).  I did try to remember to measure everything but I cook by trial and error and have a tendency to go by what looks good so some of the measurements, i.e. the water and the sweet potatoes, I forgot to measure and are an estimate of how much I think I used. 

Cuban Black Bean and Sweet Potato Bowl

1 teaspoon olive oil
1/4 red onion, diced
1/2 green pepper, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon oregano
A few dashes of cumin
1 cup cooked black beans
water
1 bay leaf
1/2 - 1 cup cooked and diced sweet potatoes (see text above for how I cooked them)
salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon vinegar

Heat olive oil in a small pot.  Add the onion, garlic and green pepper.  Saute a few minutes, until crisp tender, add oregano and cumin.  Heat until fragrant.  Add black beans, enough water to just cover the beans, and bay leaf.  Cook until water has reduced by about 1/3 or 1/2.  Stir in cooked sweet potatoes.  Heat through.  Season with salt, pepper and vinegar.  Enjoy!

Give it a try and have your own adventure in Cuban Cooking!!

I'm sorry, did you say something?

I used to think that I was a really good listener.  But upon further reflection, I think I was confusing being a good speaker and being able to have a conversation with someone, with being a good listener.  I can talk, I have that part down.  I come from a family of talkers and story tellers.  Not professional story tellers, but if you ask any member of my mom's side of the family a question, don't expect a one sentence answer. We can turn a trip to the mailbox into a story! But while I used to think being a good speaker and being a good listener go hand in hand, I think at least in my case, I was wrong.

I shared in my first blog that I am enrolled at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.  It is a one year program that trains you to be a health coach.  It takes a holistic approach to health and teaches you that being healthy is about more than just nutrition.  One of the key components of the program is the idea that being healthy includes having healthy relationships, engaging in regular physical activity, having a fulfilling career and a healthy spiritual practice.  I think this is what connected me so quickly to the program.  As a health educator, I was trained in the whole health wheel that looks at your physical, nutritional, spiritual, emotional, mental, and financial health.  So I have always agreed with this philosophy that a healthy person is more than someone who eats the right foods.  But the other components of the program, learning about a variety of nutrition theories, coaching techniques, business and marketing techniques, time management tools and organizational skills, are also important topics and techniques to being a good health coach.  As I said, I am excited about every facet of this program.  It speaks to me on so many levels that I feel that regardless of what the final outcome is after this year is over, whether I get my CEUs for CHES certification and become healthier, or if in addition to that, I create a business, I will have benefited from this program.  See my first blog for more on what all of that means!

So, why do I suddenly think that I am not a good listener? And what does this have to do with IIN? As I said, I used to think that I was a good listener, or at least I did until listening to one of the lessons in my Integrative Nutrition Program.  Linda Eve Diamond has a book on the 10 Rules of Listening.  She did a presentation on how listening skills can make you a better health coach.  What I have come to learn is that while health coaches provide some guidance, a lot of the time is spent listening to your client and asking the open-ended questions that allow the client to come up with a lot of the answers all on their own.  Her first rule, Stop talking!, she states, "you can't multi-task speaking and listening.  If you're talking, you're not listening.  This rule also applies to the talking inside your head.  If you're thinking intently about what you want to say, you're not listening to what's being said."  When I heard that, it hit me like cold water to the face. I am a culprit of the talking inside my head.  Of how I can relate this story to something that happened to me.  In my defense, I will say that it is done as a way to relate to the other person, to let them know that they are not alone in what they are going through and that I understand.  But what I have come to realize is there is a way to let the person know that I can relate to them or am sympathetic to their problem without completely turning the conversation into something about myself.

So, to be a good listener, we need to talk less.  Sounds pretty simple, right? Try it.  The next time you have a conversation with someone, or someone comes to you with a problem, fully listen to them.  Put down the smart phone, turn off the TV, fully listen to them.  Check yourself when you start putting thoughts together in your head on how you are going to relate this story back to an experience you had, just listen.  When you ask questions, make sure they are questions about finding clarity in what the person is telling you.  You may find that it's harder than you think, at least it is for me.  I didn't realize that I am not always a good listener.  I have become so used to multi-tasking that I think I can do it all, and then find myself realizing that I only heard part of what someone said to me.

Another area that I need to work on is being a good listener is when meeting someone for the first time.  I always say, I am so terrible about remembering names.  I am now wondering if this is another poor listening skill.  So I am going to actively pay attention when I am being introduced to people from now on, make a point to repeat their name after it is said to me, and see if I still struggle to remember names.  Then I can determine if it was just another case of poor listening skills or if I need to take some ginkgo biloba!

The fact is, there are many organizations and business out there with their online advice about active listening, that it proves to me two things.  First, I am not alone.  Secondly, we really need to spend more time listening and less time talking!

This is actually one part of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, seek first to understand, then to be understood.  Imagine if we spent more time seeking to understand before seeking to be understood.  Imagine seeing this on any of the cable news programs! Can you just imagine a cable news show where the host invited someone to their show and then actually took the time to understand the differing point of view instead of cutting them off all the time?  I think it says something about the society that we have come to live in.  We see it in our news, on reality TV shows, on all forms of social media, everyone is just trying so hard to be heard that everyone screams over everyone else and we just get louder and louder and louder, with less understanding, less compassion, less listening.

So I'm trying.  This is my own personal Hayward Adventure to become a better listener.  I will try to follow Linda Diamond's 10 Steps.  And I will try to seek first to understand and then to be understood.  It will make me a very good health coach, but more importantly, it will make me a better mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend.